Who are YOU following?
- michelle@nichevaservices.
- Oct 15
- 5 min read
The Illusion of Connection
Ask yourself this question, have you ever experienced a Parasocial relationship?
Part 1 of 2: The Illusion of Connection
Let’s dare to look a little closer at how we view social media — both emotionally and psychologically.
Have you ever caught yourself following someone online — a celebrity, influencer, or even an acquaintance — and felt like you knew them? Maybe you’ve smiled at their updates, cheered for their wins, or even grieved their losses. Those of us “chronically online” are likely to be familiar with this strange phenomenon.
You might never have spoken to them. But somehow, they feel familiar.
That strange sense of intimacy, the feeling that we “know” someone through a screen, is what psychologists call a parasocial relationship — a one-sided emotional connection that forms through media.
What Exactly Is a Parasocial Relationship?
The term parasocial was first introduced in 1956 by academics Horton and Wohl, who observed how early television viewers developed “the illusion of face-to-face relationships” with performers.
Fast forward nearly 70 years, and that illusion has become part of everyday life. With social media, podcasts, and reality TV, the boundaries between personal and public have blurred almost completely.
A parasocial relationship happens when one person — the viewer, listener, or follower — forms an emotional bond with someone they’ve never met. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube amplify this effect: creators look directly into the camera, speak casually, share personal updates, and appear just like us. It’s intimacy without interaction — familiarity without reciprocity.
“Parasocial relationships are available whenever we need them” (Dr Lamarche, social personality psychologist at the University of Essex).
The Psychology of Connection
Humans are wired for connection. Our brains don’t easily distinguish between real relationships and mediated ones. When someone consistently shows warmth, vulnerability, or humour on screen, we respond emotionally. It’s empathy by proxy — an echo of genuine friendship.
Doctor. Veronica Lamarche, notes that one-sided emotional attachments are “nothing new.” But the scale and frequency of parasocial relationships have exploded in the digital era.
In a 2024 study co-authored by Doctor Lamarche, participants reported valuing their relationships with YouTubers more than with casual acquaintances or colleagues. Parasocial relationships, she found, could even fulfil emotional needs when real-world connection felt limited.
Comfort, Community, and Control
At their best, parasocial relationships can offer genuine comfort. They can ease loneliness, boost self-esteem, and create a sense of belonging. For many, online figures provide stability, reliability, and encouragement — a friendly presence available on demand.
In the middle of the night, if you are struggling to sleep, feeling sad or bored, you can turn to your favourite content creator and get that feeling of solace, where the alternative of ringing your best friend for a chat is not acceptable, there are different boundaries. TikTok videos can be your new best friend.
This availability, however, is part of what makes parasocial attachment both powerful and precarious. When comfort becomes dependency, the illusion of intimacy can start to replace genuine connection.
When Connection Turns Obsession
There’s a darker side to this phenomenon. Online visibility has created a world where admiration can easily slide into fixation — or even hostility. We’ve seen countless examples where fans overstep boundaries, creators burn out, or lives are upended by the pressures of constant exposure.
Social media’s “forever” nature only deepens this. Every post, every video, every mistake remains archived for endless scrutiny. In our upcoming “Insights” project, we explore how public personas — often built on vulnerability — can backfire when the internet turns critical or cruel.
Even grief can become parasocial. A recent example for me was when I recently learned of the passing of one of my favourite movie idols, Diane Keaton, I found myself genuinely upset. I had never met her, yet her roles and interviews had shaped part of my emotional world. That sense of loss was real — even if the relationship never was.
Psychologists recognise this as parasocial grief — mourning a public figure as though they were a personal friend. It speaks to how deeply media embeds in our emotional lives.
Social Media: The Mirror and the Mask
We’ve all “checked in” on someone — an ex, an old colleague, a person we barely know — to see how they’re doing. But social media rarely tells the whole truth. It’s a curated reality, often showing the highlight reel rather than the full story.
As a result, parasocial connections can fuel comparison, envy, or self-doubt. Someone else’s life seems brighter, easier, more successful. Their 24 hours appear more glamorous than our own.
And yet, we return — scrolling, watching, liking. Because that’s how modern connection works.
The Duality: PROs and CONs
PROs:
Offers emotional support and a sense of belonging
Builds connection between creators and audiences
Can enhance mental well-being when balanced healthily
CONs:
Creates unrealistic expectations of reciprocity
Encourages constant comparison and dependency
Blurs personal boundaries for both audiences and creators
Why Parasocial Bonds Can Heal (and Harm)
Parasocial connections can be powerful tools for good. Psychotherapist and author Josh Fletcher — known to his 240,000 followers as Anxiety Josh — uses his online presence to demystify anxiety and OCD. He says:
“When you’re anxious, you feel alone — like you can’t explain what’s happening. If I say, ‘I’ve been there,’ it gives people hope.”
For minority groups, particularly the LGBTQ+ community, parasocial relationships can provide representation and comfort where local connection is lacking. “Seeing yourself mirrored back,” Josh explains, “is a great antidote to loneliness.”
But for creators, this comes with emotional labour. They become confidants, mentors, even friends — without ever meeting their followers.
The Marketing Mirror
Though this piece is a psychological reflection, it’s impossible to ignore the marketing undertone: parasocial relationships drive behaviour. People buy, subscribe, and engage with brands or individuals they feel emotionally attached to.
Influencers like Stacey Solomon illustrate this balance perfectly. Her docu-series Stacey and Joe showcases family life, creativity, and authenticity — elements that foster emotional familiarity. With over 6 million followers and a 3.5% engagement rate, her ability to blend realness with relatability is why her audience trusts her.
When she launched her Primark home décor line and promoted products through everyday storytelling — even filming her own marketing content with friends — she wasn’t just selling. She was connecting.
That connection is the foundation of modern trust — parasocial or not.
Reflection: Who Do You “Know” Online?
In a world where public personas are endlessly visible, parasocial relationships are part of our emotional ecosystem. They remind us that connection — even one-sided — can comfort, inspire, and heal. But they also caution us to maintain perspective, boundaries, and awareness.
So, ask yourself:
Who are you emotionally invested in online?
What do those connections give you — and what do they take?
And in a world where everyone is both viewer and viewed — how “real” are we willing to be?
Sources
Next in the Blog Series: Part 2 - The Parasocial Effect in Marketing and Brand Trust.
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